my baby.. outstations again...to australia
this time for 6 weeks then 1 week back to sg
omg! im sooo gonna miss him..badly...

hmm....hope his safe no matter what....
loving u syg...muacks!

first kiss...

why people always have the feeling of jealousy and unappreciated???

i hate it when it happen to me....
can't they see im happy now....as i ever be??
hmm....insya'allah...i won't be a burden to them anymore...
i will go away...from here...then u will know how much u'll
miss me...

my baby do the brave thing...by asking
my parents to take my hand and marriage!
insya'allah next year june or july....all i know
is before raya next year... :)

his the first bf that really meant it...
he's not joking...thats make my spirits grow!
omg! insya'allah..kalau ade jodoh..
tk kemane....

love u syg! ;)

haiz...!!

i miss my boyfriend soooo...much..!
i felt so lonely... :(
i been away for 3days...i when to labis segamat..
with my parents,grandma, ducky,ellyna,shikin and tasha
bored to death coz there's no internet,im down with fever/flu
all i do is...take my meds and then i sleep...wake up breakfast
meds,sleep....damn it sey...
this is not vacations...there's no fun or great time for me while
i was there...hmmm...!!

odw home from labis..reach jb..i got a phone call from my bf yuyu
his in australia...im so excited to the max...when i got to hear his voice
i didnt know he wait for me till australia time is about 1;30am while singapore
is 10;30pm...hehe....so touching of him... :) love u dear.!

then!!! he deliver d bad news...that i tot he already reach singapore..
coz he suppose to be home on friday...thats why i die..die wanna go back
friday too... :) but!! yet...he got to stay till tuesday...hmm...
all i can do is pray for his safety..and wait for his return home! :)

yes indeed..i deadly miss him!! lols
hmm...i guess i want him to have a peaceful mind in australia..too
like a mini vacations..while at australia his planning to meet his uncle..
so i said..go..meet him..since u already there...why not meet him..and..stay
for couple of night...catch thing's up....then he said...am i angry with him...
haiz....why does everybody get me wrong? while i have a good intentions sey?
but yet..! i told him..no...this is me...hehe...go have fun...! enjoy urself..aite dear..
im not e type who control people..coz i don't like being control too :)
so this is give and take..,hmmm....hope he really don't get me wrong..
coz he sound pissed at me...for no reason...! :(

hmm....i hope he don't think that i controlin him or watever..
im juz trying to understand him...while he can know abit more
about me...

anyway...yeap...
i miss him..alot...


thats all... peace outs..

haiz..... :(

i juz cant make people around me happy...enuf

maybe im not worth anything.....

haiz...... sadness feelings ever! :(:::

if u think im to much of a burden or anything...

u can juz move on.....without me...

i juz hate my fucking life....

die die im not happy....

haiz........................ :(

HAPPY 1ST MONTH ANNIVERSARY SYG!

eventhou ur far away...
doesn't mean your out from my life..
eventhou im not on your side...
doesn't mean im not around you..

my love for u will never end..
juz hold on tight to my hands..
i promise u to love u forever..
if u promise me to leave me never...

i wont stop missing u
i wont stop loving u
coz ure my dear loving bf
i will love u till e end....


my poem juz for u..to keep..
and juz for us to share...

winks! love u syg...

poem - 19 november 2010
friday 12:57am

freshly make juz for us.. :)

ouh shit!! i got the feeling of getting new set of electric guitar now..
damn stupid to sell of my guitar stuff last tym...all because of not working..
broke and out of cash...i go sell those things off...now...bontot gatal..
nak gi beli alek...damn it la..siak!
hmm....

ouh, i tot of going to (super junior concert) next year on january 29th
hmm..my darling cousin is going with her siblings n friends...she's asking
me to tag along...but too bad i got no cash to go....'some' ppl telling me..
to ask my bf for it... to me..hell no! i dnt wanna sound like a gold digger
or sounds like a burden to anyone.., i juz can't ask for it...from anyone..!
anyway...i juz need to wait for (super junior) to come again next tym..
then maybe i can go...insya'allah...

i dunno why...earlier i chat with my bf...i feel abit odd..
rite after when i told about 'e hantaran' thingy to him...
his face changes somehow... i dnt wanna pressure him or something
but i oso dun want to sound like i got a degree or sometime..
im stupid not educated shit... who want me?? hmm... like i said before..
im not worth anything...but a burden to everyone..
about the part where he pass me his credit card...
i felt like shit sey... i dun want ppl to think im a gold digger or watever
hmm...why cant he pass it to his mum instead of me? or even his sister?
maybe his juz trying to test me or something...?? hmm...
honestly i cant hold it..i have no right of holding it..
i juz know him like for a month and now he pass me his card??
hmm...tomorrow is our 1st mth anniversary...
and i tried so many time...not to start a fight with him..since i care n love him
so much...i juz hope...we can change our temper for good...
since i notice he easily explode..to any small thing...that really make him angry
about...second tot...i think back...omg!! he juz like me? gosh...!
hmm...his the first guy that i ever date..dat can get angry at me back...when
im angry..! hehhe....maybe i need sumone like him...to handle me..and my temper..
since im tryin to control his! lols

yea...i cant sleep..ever since his away...im getting bored..
no friends contact me while his away...
no phone calls...no msges..
nothing!! accept his the one who call me..tru skype!
this is me..when im in love with sumone...
his the only one...in my life/heart/etc..
i would never do anything to distroy our relationship..since his good
to me.., i stop making new friends in tagged..ever since i got him in my life
i only accept friends in tagged...but i nvr reply or keep in touch with them
coz i dun want my bf get jealous or angry or stop trusting me...for that..
im not that type of person...i juz hope nothing change...between us..
even if my ex keep contactin me...
i juz need to change my number...since my bf said..he is passin me one
of his line number...so i juz have to wait..for my prepaid to finish..and
wait for his safe return home..to singapore..that i definetly change for good
so that my ex won't contact me anymore..and i can be more happy then before..
with my loving bf...hehhee....
yes indeed i love him....and i deeply sickly..biolness...missing him like crazy..

i juz can't wait for u to return home syg...
eventhou u have a next job waiting for u at australia...
for 6weeks stay...1 weeks rest...damn...
i can feel that this would be more tougher then
this new zealand job....damn...
think positive hani!!! his out for job..and make money for his
love ones...pape pon...i always..love u no matter what..
juz hope and pray that his love is juz for me..and only me! :)

love u dear.

angry but yet sad mood at the same time...

after 2 days..my bf is away...
my ex faizal contact me by msgin me saying...
(juz wait and see..he will be back with me no matter what)
haiz....can't he juz wish the best for me??? im happy now with yuyu
what more u wanna see? faizal belittle me enuf already...
he make me cry with painful tears...shatter...what more he wants from me?
didnt i already end the relationship with him?? why dnt he understand dat i
have already move on...?

he msg me..saying juz wait n see...i got nervous n scared...
so i msg him saying im getting married next year..and im going to invite
with no bad feelings..i juz want him to be happy for me like shah did...
he got angry and reply...
i bersumpah u TAK AKAN BAHAGIA DGN YUS
kalau kawen pon TAK AKAN BAHAGIA AND END UP WILL CERAI!!!
and akan kembali ngan dier semula...dier bersumpah demi allah..
u tk akan bahagia kalau kawen ngan yus....i bersumpah demi al quran..
u tk akan bahagia ngan yus...and i akan kembali ngan u...juz wait and see...
dats what he said....haiz....

haiz...i was soo upset after reading it...
but yet i think positive...i am going to be happy as
i am happy now... i dont give the hack to him..
yet i told my sisters and parents of what he send to me..
my dad explode...my dad said...ni budak nk kena bantai ngan aku ke ape??
i was so surprize how my dad react!!
but i said...biarkan dier..biar sumpah tu makan dier..
dier solat...and da dewase...tak kn dier tk tau...tu berdose..for prayin
like dat for me...

no matter what..my decision is make...im going to stick with yus..
and hope yus do the same for me..till e end of my life...insya'allah

my bf flight to new zealand tonite around 9:15pm
i send him to the airport..with his whole family and kak ya plus ellyna
i hold back my tears..and try hidin my sad face...but yet..kak ya saw my teary eyes
lols....aiyah...what can i see...im a soft hearted too liao...im not really an alien after all..duh!! lols

anyway..im...soooooo going to miss him alots...
he be going for 2 to 3 weeks max...
from new zealand he take ship to australia..(jealous mode) lols
then from australia he take plane back to singapore...
i juz hope his safe no matter where he is...
luv ya syg... muack!!

i juz can't wait for u to come back home..

i miss u my dear...

its my birthday!!!
i turn 26 today...my bf take me to BK for mexican drumlet
that i been craving for...hahahha
then we when to marina to ride the flyer...i had a great time with him...
on our way back home...he took me to swensen and buy birhday ice cream cake
for me...but yet when bring home and celebrate with my whole family...
after the birthday song..i kena sabo with my niece..they rub ice cream cake on my face
like there is no tomorrow...hahaha...
from laughter turns angryness....where faizal..call my bf...!!!
haiz...what the hack that he wants??

yuyu talks to him nicely..saying to forget about me..
since we already plan to get married next year in august..
insya'allah...
but yet he still disturbing me...argh!!!

i juz hope he stop disturbing me..coz he been
interuptin my relationship with yuyu..ever since...
i dnt think yuyu can take it anymore..
coz i know yuyu is hard headed person juz like me..
im sure he's pissed!! hmm...no matter what...
faizal is asking for it..rite? dnt be shock if my bf yuyu
come after u one day...lols

be prepare...for my tiger...
he's one tough one...

winks! :)

my bf sold off his iphone 4...juz to buy 2 iphone back...
one is 3g 16gb white for him..and i top up $200 to buy new 3gs 8gb black
for myself...i can see how much he sacrifice on this relationship... :)

anyway...yeay!!! i got a new iphone already...hehe

happy to the max... :)

happiest day ever..!!

my new guy bought me acer mini laptop for my 26th birthday present..
yeah...surprise..im attached! hehe...he make me laugh n smile always..
honestly..we cure each other brokenheart..,and hope this would be the last relationship
for both of us..and lead us..to our future ahead, :)
yes indeed..im in love with him...not because he buy me things..
because he accept me for who i am..and love me to the fullest..
hehe...yes i can say..i feel accepted...and i feel abit more then that...some how i feel
special..hmm...insya'allah...i juz hope i won't be brokenhearted again.. :)
as i promise..to cure his heart too..and fill it with alots and alots of love and care..
insya'allah... amin! :)

nothing much to say...
i had a relationship with faizal..almost 6 to 7mths..
end up in september 17th 2010
then i know yuyu from tagged too...on 20th 2010
till now..eventhou i juz knew him..
i feel like i can click with him more then i click with faizal.

anyway..yea...nothing much to say now..
peace!

Sold everything away!!

i have already upload my guitar stuff on ebay...
quitting it for good..

selling all my guitar stuff..in ebay..
haha...and im planning to buy handphone again...hahhaa

had an funny accident and Fracture my left foot last toe!!
damn hurt...!! happen 10 may 2010

till now 18th may 2010 i still havnt seek doctor about it..
its aching..swallon..painful.. :(

maybe im juz jinx..and always in a bad luck..!

the same thing happen again..in my boring life..
im falling in love again.. and d guy..have dat thingy oso..
damn..my life suckz...why?? am i being cursed? omg..

help me...

after 1 mth of silents..my heart keep on beating..haha!! bla..bla..bla..
anyway...HAPPY NEW YEAR to d person who celebrate it...and to people
who dnt celebrate it like me...ignore it..so ntg much to say..hehe

anyway...im selling my guitar off..4 gd..
coz..my parentz not dat much a supporter..hehe
so i decided to sell all...why keep it without playing it rite?

so yeah...dats it 4 today...