things that been playing in my mind!

ape penyakit yg aku ade?

ape salah aku..sampai orang bilang aku berubah?

ape dose aku sampai orang nak marah2?

kenapa asyik sakit kepala dan urat mata selalu sakit?

biler boleh ku ade umah sendiri? (boleh bawak angelz) *da tak sanggup berpisah*

kenapa aku lose weight sampai byk skali?

kenapa rambut aku gugur?

kenapa aku selalu fikir yang aku tak akan hidup lamer?

suker ke mertua ku pada diriku? kerana ku selalu sakit?

sanggup kah suamiku..hidup semati dengan ku? *jika ku betol2 berpenyakit*?

haiz...ya allah....tambahkan la hatiku ini

tenangkan la fikiran ku...

insya'allah amin!

26th july 2011

my world change big time...

mum was admited in ktph for 2weeks

due to stroke.. :( that moment really breaks me apart..

now november 11,2011

juz after 2days on 27th birthday..

i have to admit that i miz my mum so so much... :(::

we shared everything together...ups and down..

sadness or joy...everything...

mum total change after she had stroke... she could'nt walk

or talk like she use 2... i cant share things with her anymore..

coz i don't wanna think too much...

since then i keep alot of things to myself..

break tears and feels so alone..

only mum understands what i feels...

no matter what she gives gud advise...

dear god...please heal her fast. i miss her so much....

i miz traveling and talking to her..

i miz her laugh..

i miz her joke...

i miz everything about her...before she is down with stroke...

mak adik sayangkan mak..

amponkan dose adik terhadap mak..

adik takde niat nak marah2 mak..

im juz too stress mak.. nape mak macam gini..

kenapa harus terjadi pada mak..

adik takde siape lagi nak ngadu..nasib..atau sesuatu cite gambira..

alot of people didnt realize why i change..

they never ask... but they always complaine..

"u change alot" "ure not the same"

there is alot of answer that i show.. still no1 get it!

i know takdir..da tertulis yang mak kena stroke..

tapi i still tak boleh terima..nape mak..

nape mak aku yg aku sgt syg...jadi mcm gini..?

tiada siape lagi yang aku boleh ngadu..atau bermanje..

coz mak byk diam..and fikiran sendiri..

ya allah...sembuhkan lah penyakit ibuku..

berikan dier kekuatan..utk tempuhi segala ini...

ampon kan la segala dose nye..

hanye padamu ya allah..aku berdoa.. :(:::

tears can't stop falling everytime i think of mum

at time i wanna go back to mum place..juz to see if she is better

and mean time hilangkan rindu...dan hilangkan rindu pada angelz (my cats)

but stress tak abes2...

mane rumah tak terhurus

bapak marah2..

stress dibuatnye...mmg balik umah yuyu relax..

tenang...tapi tak samer dgn balik umah sendiri that i been living for almost

half of my life..there... :(

takde ke siape yg tahu ape didalam hati ini??

missing my mum so much... :(::

miz the way she was...

love u always mum... muacks..