shame..on you..saiful..!!
to write something about maria..in your blogs..
she does'nt even love you..like gf of bf..
she your cousin.. she can't be your lover..

grow up dude..she oready have bf..and soon to be
fiance..so juz stop..hurting her..
such a stupid..guy..you are...!
what kind of person are..you???
she did nothing to you..but yet..
you hurt her feeling..say something bad about her??
like wtf?? you know..she already have someone special..in her life..
stop..trying to win her over?? sicko..!!

im angry..we are couzin..and couzin don't hurt each other feelings..
she is my gal.. and if you mess..with my gal... you mess with ME!!!
so..you better watch out..asshole...!!!
you damn bastard!!! nama aje..skola poly..budak pandai..
tapi busuk hati..nak mampos..(nampak aje baik..tapi besar nye setan)

ini lah..nama nye..setan bertopeng manusia...

remember..!!! juz don't cross the line...!!!!!

am i a bad gal?

hey...

am i a bad gal??
i told my couz..if she invite my ex..(i won't appear on her..engagement day)
then she told..me she wont''but then is her friend... aiyoh..(i shud nvr date my couz fren sey)
now..i feels weird..sey..(tk kena tempat..gitu)

but..she told me..she invitin her other guy frens..dat.. (i like..)
den i reply..i dont mind if u inviting my ex..coz mata tk sakit..klu nampak..
d other guy..hahahaha..jahat sey..aku nie..

den..i juz told her..to do what ever she like..
coz..itz her happy day..not mine..!
yeah..dont mind at all...(maybe) heehehe..

hopefully..im cool when i mit him..if..he comes...
aiyoh...(i have got the power..!!) hehe..da mcm captain planet siol..hehe..
anyway... hopefully i wont show..my sad face wen he comes..
mampos..!! hopefully not.. hahahaha! pray for me.. i dont wanna
my bad memories to hunt me..

hmm..

hmm... my bro and my 1st sis had a big fight.. (about money) ceh..
my bro..breaks my sis window..at her place..,my bro came back..with
bloody hands..(stupid..siak) bodoh nye jantan...

dunno lah..can't they control dier nye temper??
we are family..(siblings some more) haiz..
feels like our family's breaking apart..sey..
i dun wan dat to happen..(like become enemy forever)

hmm..hopefully everything change before my darlz (couzzin)
(tunang) engagement..on may, 9
i heard my sis is not coming..coz my bro..is..
aiyoh.. trouble..sey.. kesian maria..hmm..

i juz...really..really..hope..everything.. get back to normal..soon...!

change..

finally...aft 5yrs st8..asyik rebonding my hair..
i try something new..(new hair style) hehe..
i make body perm..1st takot jgk..takot tk kena muker...
but then..it end up..ok..! amin (alhamdulillah..)

like i said before..nak move on..
so..i need to start from..my life..
change from hair then to how..i dress..
and last my attitude..! hahax..

i wanna change..from someone..my close friends noe me..
to someone..they hardly noe..

hopefully..they like it...
coz..i don't wanna look sad forever..
or..something..!!

orite..dats it for today... adioz..!

bad news

mit my darlz (my couz) at dhoby ghout..we go shopping..
i buy her ladys shoe..a present for her engagement day..tgh happy happy
den i heard the bad news..,tgh nk mkn lak tu....teros takde selara sey
my aunt..she is inviting my ex.. to her daughter engagement day sey..
bingit..jer..! try to forget him..now.. da bagus..bagus..da tk pikir kan dier..
tiba-tiba..jer nk jempot si..sipot..tu.., darah up jer..
haiz.. i told my aunt not to invite him..(dlm hati ckp..dun wan to remember d bad memories
i have with him...) but den..ntah ar...hopefully..if he is invited..hopefully dont come..!!
aiyoh..!!!!! mampos..sey....bingit!!!!!!!!

losing

i don't know..why..im losing alots..of friends.. they seems..to be moving away
from me..,1 by 1..stop smsin me..,am i bad..did i do anything wrong..
did..i mizjudge them?? haiz.. i dont even noe y...

i become more lonely..then b4...,
i have no..one..to talk to ..accept..this blogs..
i write everything now.. from what i feels and what ever it is...
and i dont even noe..if there anyone who is reading my blogs..
or my stories...

hmm...guess.., i was born to have no friends..at all...

happy and sad story..

my mum bought..me a new headphone for my sony ericsson phone..
cool..gadget tho.. kuat giler...!!! haha... if anyone..talk to me...i hear nothing
from them..juz saw d mouth moving jer...hehe..

btw...i go jogging 4 d 4th day..oready hooray..!! hehe..da empat ari dok..!! happy giler
hehe... and i dunno why..i feels sad..when i jog today... almost have my tears drop tho..
feeling so alone..hmm.... i guess.. itz hard to move on..., i told myself before..that i would
never fall in love..or never gonna feel..the pain of broken hearted...
gues...i got it now... sheesh..!! itz hard..siol..

hope...everything would change soon...

loving my new hobby..

i start my jogging habit..back.., well i start yesterday..ard 8:30pm..
i jog 5 rounds ard..wlds..(my area) hehe.. its kinda cool..
stress free..hmm..

i use to jog..b4..and do push up..sit up..,juz 1day..i didnt go..
flatt sey..d next day nak buat..rabak..penat giler...,haha

well.. this time i will try to continue.. my new hobby..
haha..other then eatin..je..tak stop..hee..

hope..i get in shape..back..like i alwayz wanted
slim/fit/ and..active body..samer la 2
yeah...and i try to get my six pack alek..hehe..
see what will happen..(can i get it???) remain mistery..siol
hahahax...hope the best for me..aite..
hehe...

being auction..?

i follow my mum to tampines.. she got a client to make up..for engagement..(tunang)
so..i dress up..with make up and nice cloth la.. we reach there ard 2:40pm.. as i abt to enter
d house..this sis said..wah..u look pretty today..sey..blah..blah..blah..
then finish abt 4:20pm.. so me and my mum..ready to go home..
im d 1st one to go out..from d room...then this aunty..said.. are you available??
i juz keep quite.. (had enuf..) still hurting tho...

then my mum..said..she single..omg..!!

wah...in my mind..i said...ok..mum
start bidding..(sheesh..) angry liao..
burning like candle.. or flame.. siak..!!

hmm.. i oready said..then im ok...being single 4ever...!
and i will be.. (i think???) hahax...
see what will happen..to me..when the time comes...
w/ther i be single.. or..attch or.. who noes...
hahahha...
for now..., im rather be single....hehe...

wake up call..

itz oready 1am..
we oready..abt to sleep.., im switchin off..all d plug.. and everyting..
suddenly..someone..doorbell..well itz oready 1 in d morning..
so i tot..itz my sis..who stay..couple blocks..away.., as im abt to open the door..
i peak 1st.. to comfirm who was it..?? but itz not my sister..
its my brother friends.. (2 guys actually) i keep them waiting outside..(they keep doorbell all the way..) as i call my mum
to come out..,i was thinking.. who in da world..come over at late night rite.. don't they know..its late..??
well im bro ( tkde prob..carik prob.. lak..) haiz.. always..give the burden to my parentz..
tak pernah happy kan parentz.., this guys..is looking for him.. but me and my mum said..
he move out oready...we have to lie..to this guys..to save his ass!! im angry..why did my parentz
keep helping they son..that never brings happiness to them..?? hmm...
dunno what will happen..to this family.. ( or me... i juz cant take it anymore..) feels like running away forever..!

my poem..

Roses are red
Violet are blue...
(in my heart i never stop loving you)
You maybe gone
You mabe dissappear...
(but in my mind you are alwayz here)
My heart is beating..its beating for you
The only reason im still breathing..coz i keep thinking about you...
I'm not dead..not even alive
I am weak..coz i need you to survive....
Here i am all alone..wishing you to call my phone..
I hope..you can hear my prayers..coz..i need you to come back home..

I miss you so much... i love u deeply..


i write this poem on im own...(08/04/09) wednesday at 2:25am
when im missing that special someone....

bad memories...

songs..dat really brings bad memories..to me..

avril lavigne - (hot)
alicia keys - (no one)

everytime..i listen to this..songs.. it remind me of someone
dat i once care and love..now.. it juz brings pain and sadness...
to me....

boring giler...

tkde mood..for so long now.., ntah kenape tk tau..., like not worth living..anymore..,
i get angry for no reason... sad for no reason..,
i cry oso dunno..why... haiz...i hope..someone..could help me solve my problem..
i really need..someone..to help me release my stress....or burden...

addicted to handphones

i when to this plaza ard..wlds, i never plan anything..., i was juz walking ard, then i saw this handphones shop..so i take a look..la, look look see..see..hehe then this eye catchin phone..is so temptin siol...hehe.. without thinkin for d up comin days..w/ther i got money to spend or not.. i juz jump and grab it and d next thing i noe..i oready pay 4 it..haha.. mcm kena pukau lak...haha.. i have oready got 2 hp at home....dunno la.. im so addicted to handphones... omg... i need help.. major help...haha..

im happy now

i have oready release..my anger... to that someone... haha.. now..im happy..giler..
honestly u shud see..ur own face..when i said you shud write something in ur blog..
that i have oready return ur unwanted gift...haha.. (you think i dunno ur blog addy???) sucker!!! (expectedtheunexpected)

someone special

i have to admit.. that i like this guy in irc.., i give him my no. we sms...for so long
but u know.. guys in irc cannot be trusted...., to me he's kind..honest, funny and cute
what every gals dream of..(to me la..) he ask me out couple of tym..but i say no.. (coz parentz won't allow me to mit chatters..) after few tym i said no.. he stop..mgsin me.., im kinda down..
for d past few days..lonely..n miserable.., my parentz noe..abt this..guy.. (i told abt him ) but yet..still can't mit him..hmm.., what shud i do..sey??

burden???

am i a burden to my parentz...?

i fight with my sib.. and (my sib) say dat im a burden to my parentz...
sad part is dat..my mum kat blakang me..but my mum diam je..,i cried..infront of my mum..
i juz felt dat mayb i am..a burden..coz..if im not..she could say something rite?? im angry at my mum.., i juz feel like running away..
i help her alot..like major alot...but she didnt appreciate it.. hmm...mayb when im gone..
she realize..that she lost someone...she cares..
haiz...i juz hope so..