after 1 mth of silents..my heart keep on beating..haha!! bla..bla..bla..
anyway...HAPPY NEW YEAR to d person who celebrate it...and to people
who dnt celebrate it like me...ignore it..so ntg much to say..hehe

anyway...im selling my guitar off..4 gd..
coz..my parentz not dat much a supporter..hehe
so i decided to sell all...why keep it without playing it rite?

so yeah...dats it 4 today...

yesterday..i had a huge fight with my dad..
he always blame me for everything...which i do and dont..
ever since ducky had done her stupid mistake..
mum and dad treat me..like im d bad one...
they scold..yell..curse many more on me..
for the past 3 years yeah..i just keep quiet..
but yesterday i couldn't help it anymore..,dad started it..for days..
with mum..quarrel bla bla bla..i get the blame again..cause i never cook..
dinner...for god sake..im sick..!! haiz..., i shout at him..it wasnt my fault..
im sick.., that part i say everything whats in my bleeding heart..

then my fucker sis...juz tell me..that she found someone to look after her kid..
i was like what the fuck...!!! i was crying...no1..even care to cuddle me..or calm me down..
that part i know where i stand in this fucking family...im fucking on1 to them..
i feel miserable..i wish to god so many time..take me away...take my life..i couldn't go on
any more...please god take my life...please...
maybe one day if im gone..maybe they will miss me..they will look for me..
i just felt running away..i even thought of ending my life..
i just cant take it anymore...please...!! just make it stop....

im missing dat person...so much....
it hurts so bad..!!! i miss you.......

i juz get back from my couz and fren gig..at syed alwi rd..
today music..is so metal (besi) haha...power headbangin giler..nye..
i loike...!! btw my life abit weird lately...dunno wats wrong..
or wat i did..i juz feels out of place.....
kinda lonely...sad,angry..and not in da fucking mood...
bored la...nothing to do...haiz...
anyway..nothing is inportant for me to up date..rite now..
so...bye2..

yet again...another birthday...say gdbye to 24 say eewww....hello
to big 25..hahah..

i wanna say thanks to my mum and 2nd sis..4 d surprise..birthday party
at her new house...hehe..den after dat...i when 4 a movie...wif bella..and my 3rd sis
(jennifer's body..) 4 d second tym..hehe..i loike d movie...damn cool...
megan fox...so cute..acting as a bitchy devil...eater..haha..

yeap..ntg much after dat...

i wake up this morning wif a..bad dream!!
i dream of jumping or maybe falling?? haiz..
wat a fucked up dream siol...hate dat part!!
i was in this school..then..minutes later my niece
drag me to d ladies room...askin me to touch up
and everything..i ask why.. she juz told me u will see..
then i was like ok..!! (wat da heck siol) after that...
i was so angry..den i was at d adge of this block..??
dunno why...i dnt think i jump..maybe someone push me??
coz..in my dream i was never near to end my life siol..!!
den suddenly boom!!! den wake up..
damn suey..siol..!! scary...

asthma attack!! i cant breathe sei...totally hard to breathe..
haiz...lucky never..die..!! hahaha...i juz ask my mum some cash..
then i go..doctor..myself.., doctor say...ok..dnt talk much...go emergency
room...hahaha...then i use vantolin...hehehe...
like i said..lucky i never die...liao..! hahaha...